Police work is a lot of legwork.
Question: I sent you a message the other night about the moth thing and I was just wondering if it didn't go through or if maybe you just didnt have a reply:) anyway my point of dropping by here is to remind you how cute and smart and cool you are with the best taste in music and stuff and you're great.
Aw, no, I never got that message or I would’ve replied! The last anonymous message I received says “I’d give you hot meal and a boner.” I don’t think that’s the one you’re talking about right? hahahah
You’re really, really lovely! Thank you for saying such nice things. Hope you’re having a good evening :)
About a week ago, I went into the vending machine shack on campus and tried to buy an energy drink, but it turned out that the machine wasn’t working. While I was trying to find another machine to work, this other guy that was there asked me if the machine I had just used was working and we got into talking about how vending machines on campus are awful and they hardly ever work and bla bla bla. I hadn’t realized how much I missed having a proper conversation with a random stranger. Not that talking about how awful vending machines are makes for a proper conversation, but it was just a nice break from the tedious monotony of this study routine I’ve been sucked into the last month or so. After being there for a good five minutes, I said good-bye to this guy and thought I’d never see him again, but always remembered how easy it was to talk to him, even though we didn’t know each other at all. Needless to say, I fantasized about our babies… just kidding. But, I think everyone does that. Any time you ever see some random person that you find interesting or attractive, you can’t help but imagine what your life would look like if they were actually a part of it. Would they help make it better or just make for another bad story in a series of bad stories?
Then I walked into the vending machine shack today, and it truly was a surprise to find that the same guy that I’d seen a week ago was in there. I didn’t want to go all out and say “hey, aren’t you that guy who was here a week ago?” Because I thought that might sound kind of creepy… what if he doesn’t remember me? Then I look like an idiot, leave the shack, wait 10 minutes for him to leave, make a campfire while I wait because it was freezing outside, and go back in for an energy drink. I had to be more sneaky about it…
"Hey, do you know if you this machine is working?" I asked him
"Um, I actually haven’t tried yet. I just got there. But from past experiences, they tend not to work…. hey, weren’t you here last week? I think we had a conversation about this machine not working!"
"Oh my god, yeah! Hey! How are you? How are things going?" Let me tell you my lying skills are imppppressive.
Eventually we got into a full conversation about classes and our majors and what we want to do and what finals we’re taking. He asks me what my name is and I ask for his. We’ve become a strange sort of friends. And our conversation lasted at least 5 more minutes than it had last time. I really don’t know if I’ll ever see him again, but god… I want to. He was the nicest break from reality I’ve had in a while and, in some ways, I’d rather leave this fictitious friendship intact but, at the same time, I just hope that I bump into him again sometime. Maybe I’ll ask for his phone number. The littlest things make life exciting.
A quote from Daniel Coffeen (via illumiinate)
The ‘yes or no’ game.
You can ask me anything and I’ll answer honestly, but only with yes and no.
where can i buy some thigh high crocs
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?
These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.
I got super sick today and I have a final at 8 am tomorrow for a class where the final could make the difference between an A and a B… and I hate life, and my nose is leaking and raw and i just want to die tbh.